Silently Wondering

My mind is thinking so many things it's like a smack in the face,
I really don't want to be here, this isn't my place.
And I wonder what you're doing if you're sleeping, dreaming,
Suddenly my mind races and the tears start streaming.

It's too much and I can barely breathe as the tears keep falling,
I can feel my heart beating your name; it's you its calling.
Remembering how beautiful you look peacefully sleeping,
Watching your chest rise and fall so perfectly but why am I weeping.

Then suddenly I realise, you're the air that I take in everyday,
You're the only one that can make me feel this way.
And it's hit me all at once how much hurt and pain it could cause,
If one day you saw me differently and could point out the flaws.

It's hard to breathe just thinking it and this is just a taste,
Please don't make all this love I have for you go to waste.
I know I would fall with no way to stand again,
There's no way I could cope with that much pain.

I wish I was there now, holding you and watching you sleep,
But I'm here and so silently hoping that in your dreams it's me you keep.
So silently wishing that we'll make it still holding hands, still together.
Silently wondering if you really will want me forever.